Michael's Place

David Rockland (Joey Lawrence) arrives from Colorado to spend the summer with his father, Bill (Cliff De Young), and stepmother, Ellen (Roxanne Hart). David hates that his dad has to live so far away and wishes he would move to Colorado so they could spend more time together. With Bill always working, David has a lot of free time and meets a kid who tells him about the neighbor who used to live across the street. The week before, he went crazy in the middle of the night, destroying his house before dying from electrocution. Everyone believes he was just crazy, and he had even blamed the kids on the street for poisoning his lawn. When David sneaks into the boarded up house and meets a strange old man, he begins to suspect something more sinister happened. A malevolent intelligence in the electrical system is moving from house to house, terrorizing households by taking control of the appliances and killing the occupants or causing them to wreck their home in an effort to destroy it. After witnessing strange behavior from things around the house and noticing the grass starting to die, David believes this "pulse" has found its way into his dad's home, and that it's only a matter of time before the terror that cost the neighbor his life comes for them.


How many times have we laid in bed at night and listened to the sounds of our house? The ticking of a clock, the refrigerator running, the air conditioner kicking on. But what if those sounds were something else? What if behind them was a strange force running through the electricity of your home, plotting your doom? Director Paul Golding, who also wrote the script, builds Pulse around that simple premise and exploits it to good effect. There have been many "appliances run amok" movies, and often I find the majority of them just plain silly. But this is probably the best one I've seen. What makes it so effective is that it refuses to offer any explanation. At no point in the film do we learn anything about why these terrible events are happening. They just are. There is a suggestion that perhaps it's some force from the heavens -- a lighting bolt strikes a power line during the opening credit sequence, which causes a surge at a nearby power station -- but really, the audience is left to ponder the exact origin of the "pulse." While some may not like that, I find it adds to the suspense of the film not knowing where it came from or if it can ever be stopped.


The film stars Cliff De Young, who's always nice to see in an against-type role. He's usually playing bad guys or weasel scumbags, but here he's just your average next door dad. Joey Lawrence, before he would be known as the guy who says "Woah!" all the time on Blossom, is very good in one of his first film roles. Watching him, especially in the many scenes he has alone, you could tell he was destined for stardom. Although I have to admit, it's strange that his younger brother, Matthew, is cast as a neighbor when the two look so much alike. The film is certainly a slow burner. The threat of the "pulse" is introduced gradually and the script takes its time building up to the finale, in which things really go crazy with a sense of unbridled terror as the house seems to come alive and trap dad and son as it tries to kill them. There's a good sense of paranoia as David tries to convince the adults what is going on, even before he really knows whether or not it's true himself, only to be met with skepticism. I also like how the movie comes full circle in a sense. When you see the end, you understand what was happening way back at the very beginning. The special effects, whether melting circuit board components or strange lights that emit from television screens, are good.


In fact, aside from the presence of VCRs and maybe some wardrobe, there's actually not a whole lot that really dates the film. It all holds up pretty well after nearly twenty-five years, unlike another "killer electricity" movie I just reviewed that was outdated the day it came out. Although labeled as a horror movie, it's never really scary or violent (the one death in the whole film even occurs off-screen), so it's fine fare for younger horror fans who aren't quite ready for the heavy hitters like Freddy and Jason yet. With the effects kept to a minimum, there's almost a sense of reality to the film that makes you wonder "What if this actually happened in my home?" Just think about it: what if some strange electrical force, almost like sentient electricity, suddenly entered your home and started trying to kill you? Pulse is a nice little thriller. It's not very well known, and in fact I'd never heard of it myself until about a week ago, upon which I quickly rented it from Netflix. It's nothing original (appliances previously ran amok two years earlier in the Stephen King turkey Maximum Overdrive), but despite the goofy-sounding premise it's played straight and comes off remarkably effective. Check it out if you get the chance. But I guarantee you'll never look at your television, shower, or power tools the same way again.

Last night, the second season of Sherlock ended. But it didn't just end. It ended with a bang! I'm talking an ending that makes you pitch forward in your seat, stare at the television wide-eyed, and say aloud, "Okay, just how in the hell is this going to be resolved?" Like the episode, I'll leave you in suspense while I take a moment to reflect on the season. After the success of the first season, creators Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss decided that it was only natural to follow up that run by adapting the three most famous Sherlock Holmes stories: "A Scandal in Bohemia," the very first Holmes short story, "The Hound of the Baskervilles," and "The Final Problem." The season aired first in England back in January, so it was a long wait to see it here in America. Overall, it was a solid season that felt much more intricate and methodical than the first. I think I still like the first season just a bit more, simply because it was so new and fresh at the time, and I was completely pulled in by the excitement and creativity of it. But this was certainly a great season with a lot to offer. (I've already talked about the show in general, so go here for more details.)



Sherlock Holmes meets his opposite in Irene Adler.
In the first episode of the season, "A Scandal in Belgravia," Sherlock Holmes meets Irene Adler, a ruthless and brilliant dominatrix who trades in classified information extracted from her rich and powerful clients. Holmes is asked by his brother, Mycroft, to retrieve a series of compromising photos of a member of the royal family that Adler has in her possession, but Holmes has no idea who he's up against. Adler is a legend in the Holmes canon because she is in every way his equal and knows how to play against him. Their first meeting is great. Adler knows he will be able to deduce things about her based on her appearance, so after fretting over what to wear for their meeting, she decides to simply greet him in the nude. Naturally, this throws Holmes for a loop because he can't read her at all. It also makes for a comical moment in which Dr. Watson arrives and is taken aback by what he sees. Lara Pulver is terrific as Irene Adler: sexy, charming, and sophisticated. As usual, there is fun to be had in spotting elements of the classic stories in these modern day versions. Things like Watson's smoke distraction and Adler's nickname, the Woman, are well-used. The episode also has Holmes wear a deerstalker cap to try and hide himself from the media, playing off the classic image of him by illustrator Sidney Paget. The story does get a little complicated at times, straying off into areas involving international terrorism and CIA plots, but it lends a sense of scope to the episode, which also ends on a rather unexpected and poignant note.



Holmes and Dr. Watson investigate the grounds near the Baskerville military research base.
"The Hounds of Baskerville" is my favorite of this season, in which Holmes and Watson investigate strange activities around a military base. Henry Knight saw his father ripped apart there twenty years earlier by what he describes as a gigantic hound. Years later when he returns to the scene, he sees the hound again and begs Holmes to get to the bottom of it so he can finally put his mind at ease. Based on the most famous Sherlock Holmes story, the creators wanted to treat the episode very much as a horror story, but from a rational point of view. As a result, the ghost story angle is downplayed in favor of a conspiracy theory, which gives the tale a very modern feel while still remaining true to the spirit of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original. It's fun to see the characters outside of London, as the majority of the episode is set in the countryside of South Wales. It's a nice change in scenery and helps play up the scariness of the episode by being in a more isolated region. It's also the first episode with a "client scene" where, like in the stories, a private citizen arrives at Holmes' apartment to present him with a mystery and Holmes will make clever deductions about the client, such as their current state or how they arrived. I missed these in the first season, so it was great to finally see one here. We also see Holmes grapple with fear for the first time, something he's unaccustomed to. From beginning to end, this is a great episode that is one of the best things I've seen on television this year.



Holmes and Moriarty confront each other on the roof of St. Bartholomew's Hospital.
In the suspenseful finale, "The Reichenbach Fall," arch-enemy James Moriarty returns with a diabolical plot to discredit and kill Sherlock Holmes. Moriarty toys with Holmes in a series of events that creates doubt about the great detective amongst his friends and colleagues, manipulating seemingly everything to turn the world against Holmes. The story brings out the true villainy of Moriarty. While I was very critical of Andrew Scott's portrayal in last season's "The Great Game," I find him much better here. His performance is more controlled but every bit as cold, calculating, and just plain evil. And that bang of an ending I mentioned above? Well, in Doyle's "The Final Problem," Holmes and Moriarty have a confrontation that ends with them both falling to their deaths at Switzerland's Reichenbach Falls. Here, Moriarty's plot to destroy the detective requires that Holmes die. He must kill himself after being exposed as a fraud, not just because it's the logical conclusion after being embarrassed on a national scale, but because if he doesn't then Moriarty's snipers will kill his closest friends: Watson, Lestrade, and Mrs. Hudson. Holmes seems to accept his fate and calls Watson to confess that everything he's done since they met was a put-on. Watson can then only stare in horror as Holmes steps from the roof of the building and plunges to his death in an apparent act of suicide. Words alone cannot properly describe the scene. Watching it happen, after sitting through the six adventures so far with these characters, the emotion just hits you like a fist.



Holmes reluctantly dons a deerstalker cap to try and hide from the press cameras in "A Scandal in Belgravia."
It's interesting to note that all three episodes this season specifically focus on Sherlock Holmes as he deals with love, fear and death, things he has never experienced. Following the previous season, there is a natural progression to the relationship between Holmes and Watson. Rather than being baffled by each other's differences, they seem to have now accepted them as they've become friends. As usual, there is good use of humor, although it becomes less prevalent with each episode. There is a steady stream of comedy throughout the first episode that often had me laughing at loud, but was never distracting and fit comfortably alongside the suspense. Likewise, there are more great moments in the Baskerville episode, but then there is virtually none in the final episode, save for a few scattered moments here and there, as it is a particularly grim story. Another interesting element this season was Holmes' celebrity. Thanks to his role in several high profile incidents, not to mention the popularity of John Watson's online blog, the media has begun to take notice of Holmes, plastering his image in newspapers and tabloids. In one of the episode's few moments of levity, "The Reichenbach Fall" opens with a sequence in which Holmes is continually trotted out before the cameras to be congratulated for his assistance a number of times and given tokens of appreciation, much to his chagrin. The performances by Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are splendid, particularly during the climax of the finale as Holmes "confesses" to being a fraud and Watson refuses to believe him. The final scene at Holmes' grave, with Watson's teary-eyed plea for his friend to not be dead, is very moving, and we see just how much he has come to care for Holmes. All three episodes offer something different but just as intriguing: "A Scandal in Belgravia" is sexy and funny, "The Hounds of Baskerville" is scary and suspenseful," and "The Reichenbach Fall" is grim and gut-wrenching.



Holmes plunges to his death (or does he?) in the finale of "The Reichenbach Fall."
Of course, for all the great stuff this season has to offer, discussion (at least for the time being) will always focus on just one thing: the death of Sherlock Holmes. Ever since the season aired in England back in January, speculation has swept the online community as fans theorize on how he could have survived. Needless to say, we know Holmes is not really dead, as a third season has already been announced. But just how he could survive such a bone-crunching death boggles the mind. Doyle's original story ended with Watson merely deducing that Holmes had fallen to his death, along with Moriarty, but his body was never found. But here, however, there seems to be no doubt that Holmes died. Watson witnesses the plunge, sees the bloodied body on the sidewalk, even feels for a pulse and finds none. Yet we know he cannot possibly be dead. It's a hell of a hole to write yourself into, but given the show's track record of excellence, we can be assured the explanation will be brilliant. With the third season not even scheduled to start production until early-2013, it's going to be a very long wait to find out.

Terry Munroe (Karen Allen) is a single mother trying to raise her teenage son, Josh (Wil Horneff), and juggle a career. At a computer store, her address book is accidentally left behind and falls into the hands of employee Karl Hochman (Ted Marcoux), who turns out to be the notorious Address Book Killer that police have been hunting for the last three years. He steals a victim's address book and kills those listed in it. On his way to kill Terry later that night and start a new round of murders, he is in a car accident and taken to the hospital. He dies while having a brain scan, but a storm causes an electrical accident that traps his soul inside the computer mainframe. Accessing the scan of a page from Terry's address book, Hochman begins to stalk and kill her friends by using electricity to transport himself almost anywhere. When Terry finds her bank account emptied and receives threatening phone calls, a famous computer hacker, Bram Walker (Chris Mulkey), tries to help her figure out what is going on and how they can stop Hockman before it's too late.


Ghost in the Machine is a ridiculously dated cyber-horror film that was made when they were still in their infancy, following the similar Shocker (1989) and The Lawnmower Man (1992). A lot of effects-heavy films made during the early days of CGI often looked dated within a few years. There are exceptions, but this film is not one of them. This was outdated the day it came out, which was just six months after another little movie that relied heavily on CGI, Jurassic Park. Now granted, it's silly to assume the filmmakers had the same multi-million dollar resources that Steven Spielberg did, but there had to have been resources to get better effects that what they did. It's funny to look through a window back to 1993 and see how huge and clunky home computers were. To those of us now firmly entrenched in a computer-based society, the film's representation of computers and the Internet (although never referred to as such) is both hilariously bad and kind of charming at the same time. A lot of times in film and television, computers always seem to be more advanced than they really are at the time of production. But their use here is so distractingly silly. From e-mail that functions more like instant messaging to Josh downloading a sex program called "Love Corral," which features Aeon Flux-looking women whom you can remove articles of clothing from with the click of a key, it just makes you laugh. Not to mention the virtual reality arcade game that looks and functions like no arcade game in 1993 ever did. And can you imagine storing personal contacts in a computer? I'm sure there were people in 1993 who thought this was an unthinkable concept that would never actually be true.


If you can get past just how dated the film is (which is a Herculean task, I assure you), there are some fun moments. The few kills are outrageously goofy, with a strong Final Destination vibe. Hochman attacks one victim by basically turning his entire kitchen into one giant microwave, nuking everything from eggs and bananas to the man himself. Another is killed by a bathroom hand dryer that turns into a flamethrower and another with a dishwasher. One scene involving a toddler and a pot boiling on the oven has a fair amount of tension. But the tone of the film is pretty uneven. It's almost like nobody sat down during pre-production to talk about what tone they wanted to go for and instead just winged it. It's not funny enough to be taken as a comedy or spoof of the genre, and it's not serious enough to be taken as a scary horror movie. There are scenes that are (supposed to be) scary, then there are scenes with Josh and his best friend that feel like they belong in a typical '90s kids comedy. Josh tries to act stereotypically early-90s hip (read: a kid who thinks Vanilla Ice is the pinnacle of cool) and flirt with his teenage babysitter, and later he and his buddy bride her with $37 to flash her chest at them. Add on top of it all the finale, in which the killer somehow escapes from the electric grid and appears as a walking, talking digital construction. And we're not even talking in an android body like SID 6.7 in Virtuosity. Hochman literally just emerges from a computer grid and manifests into a physical . . . something that should have no way of existing outside of a computer.


The film was directed by Rachel Talalay, whom I kind of feel bad for. She seems like a nice person in interviews, but the three theatrical films she's made -- Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, this, and Tank Girl -- have all been box office disappointments derided by fans and critics, and she hasn't made another film. But she has since carved out a much more successful career as a television director, so good for her. The cast helps make the experience go by a little easier, as they really give it their all despite the goofy premise. Karen Allen is always a joy to see, but her performance feels like it belongs to a better film. It's kind of sad to see her in a movie of this quality when she was just in The Sandlot earlier the same year. There's also Chris Mulkey, who's cool to see in a lead role for a change, the very '90s kids (including Brandon Quentin Adams of Mighty Ducks), Rick Ducommun from The 'burbs, and -- most spectacularly -- Shevonne Durkin of Leprechaun 2 fame as the hottest movie babysitter ever. And the whole film has that "I remember the '90s" charm that I find hard to resist. From the wardrobe to the technology to the soundtrack of completely inoffensive rap music, it just reeks of the early-90s. I mean, this film is so early-90s that I kept waiting for Mark-Paul Gosselaar's Zack Morris to walk on screen with his Motorola DynaTAC, freeze the movie, and start talking to the camera.


Ghost in the Machine is not a good movie, and it's definitely one of the most outdated ones you'll ever see. I was literally laughing within minutes at the total '90sness of it all, and it's got plot holes big enough to throw Apple IIes through. Yet I found myself content watching it, and not just because of how much fun I could make of it. I like the movies of today just fine, but with so many always seeming like they have to be on such a grand scale with everything ramped up to a 10, there's something relaxing and almost therapeutic about watching these quaint '90s movies, even when they have such terrible effects as this does. It's a goofy and mildly-amusing little movie, as stupid as it is, so I'm willing to give it a bit of a pass because of that. If nothing else, it's a great period piece for those who want to take a trip back to the more modest early-90s and see just how far computers have come in the last two decades.



How come I never had a babysitter like this?! Damn movies always lie!

As another television season winds down, I thought I'd take a look at the past season of the shows I watched.


What can I really say? Consistently funny, this has been the most hilarious show I've watched in a long time. From Sheldon Cooper's growing relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler to the great guest appearance by Brent Spiner, this season was full of solid laughs. Some fans have lamented the domestication of "ladies man" Howard, but I enjoyed his progression with girlfriend Bernadette, which culminated in their marriage at the end of the season. Which really surprised me. Usually weddings in sitcoms are almost always called off at the last minute, unless it's a series finale. But I applaud the writers for actually seeing it through and not coming up with a lame reason to break them up just before the altar. I'm really glad Mayim Bialik was added to the cast full-time, because she has been terrific as Amy. At times goofy, at times weird, and at times sweet, Amy has proven a great addition to the show, and I've loved her attempts to be Sheldon's girlfriend, even if he's completely oblivious.


This is one of the best crime dramas in a long time. It's nice to have a show with cops who are actually likable (unlike on a lot of other current cop shows). I've also never been a fan of corrupt cop shows or movies, so it's great to see some good, honorable cops. I really enjoyed this season's story arc of Jamie Reagan going undercover to investigate a mob family. Although I felt it might have stretched out a little too long and seemed kind of hurriedly wrapped up in the second-to-last episode, I thought the show got some good mileage from it and it allowed Jamie to grow as a cop. I also love the show because it has a refreshingly strong sense of family that is sorely missing from television in recent years. I love the Sunday family dinners that appear in every episode, which often devolve into arguments between characters over various situations. Of course, Tom Selleck is terrific as the police commissioner and lends great presence, and Donnie Wahlberg is awesome. As Det. Danny Reagan, he's already earned a spot on my list of favorite TV cops.


I loved E.R. (the early seasons, at least), but otherwise I'm not much for medical dramas. But this was my favorite new show of the season. The medical mysteries were intriguing, but the big draw for me was Patrick Wilson as Dr. Michael Holt. He started the show off as a self-absorbed surgeon who only cares about helping the rich. His life is then thrown into disarray when the ghost of his ex-wife gets him involved with the free clinic she ran, which exposes him to poorer patients in need. Normally discontented with his life and cold to those around him, this change slowly brings the humanity out of him. As much a character study as a medical drama, it was terrific to watch Holt develop as he began to have his eyes opened to the world outside his upscale New York City clinic. Wilson was fantastic in the role and really made it great to watch. Unfortunately, the season was short with only 16 episodes, and just recently CBS announced it was canceled. At least the last episode had something that could serve as a finale and not a cliffhanger.


Justified actually aired its third season finale over a month ago. This has been one of my favorite shows for the last few years now. Timothy Olyphant is fantastic as Deputy Marshal Raylan Givens. After the solid first season and the terrific second, the third season had a lot to live up to, and in a way I feel it didn't quite pull it off. There was a lot of stuff in this season that was confusing and never really seemed to make sense to me, particularly involving the main bad guy, who was expertly played by Neal McDonough. I felt, as good as he was, his character was never really used to his full potential. Mykelti Williamson was great as a new recurring character whose side you were never sure he was on, but he never seemed really developed as a character. Perhaps he'll get some next season, as he's expected to return. I liked a lot of what happened this season, but overall I felt the show really missed a lot of chances this season. But I still can't wait for season four.


I was excited to learn that Tim Allen was coming back to TV with a new sitcom. Home Improvement is one of my Top 3 favorite TV shows of all time, so naturally I was interested. Because ABC decided to premiere it in mid-October for some reason, nearly a month into the new season, I missed the first few episodes and had trouble remembering it, but eventually it fell into place in my rotation. It's no Home Improvement, but that's a tall order to fill, and it's not the greatest comedy in years. But it sure did amuse me. Sitcoms have always been my favorite kind of shows, and in recent years there haven't been many I liked. So this was a welcome addition to me, as the family sitcom in particular is my favorite. It's just nice to see a another traditional sitcom that makes use of a multi-camera set-up and studio audience, which I prefer over the single-camera, pseudo-documentary style that so many comedies tend to do these days. Also, Hector Elizondo is a crack-up and steals every scene he's in.


This is a cool premise for a crime drama. The show stars Poppy Montgomery as Carrie Wells, a New York City detective with hyperthymesia, the ability to recall the vast majority of personal experiences and events. This first season was entertaining. Carrie's condition adds a great twist to the procedural genre so that it's not just filled with scenes of investigators in labs looking through microscopes or lifting fingerprints off glass. We still get some cool stuff like chases and fights and shoot outs. There was a recurring storyline of Carrie searching for the man who killed her sister when they were children that was well-handled and never overtook the show. It unfortunately was not wrapped up in the season finale this week, which I was hoping it would be, because it does feel like something that could get boring if it drags out too long. But I like the concept and the cast (Poppy Montgomery is hot), so I'm willing to let them keep running with it for awhile and see what they do. CBS has not announced yet if they are canceling or renewing the show, but I would definitely like to see a second season. (5/13 UPDATE: One day later, CBS has officially canceled the show. Argh!)

When an alien vessel approaches Earth, it is shot down and crashes in the woods around Chequamegon Bay, Wisconsin. Its alien occupant, as a blue ball of energy, enters the home of recently widowed Jenny Hayden (Karen Allen), where it uses a lock of hair from her deceased husband to clone a new body in his likeness. Stunned by the sight of her later husband, Jenny becomes fearful when the Starman (Jeff Bridges) appears to abduct her, forcing her to drive him to a destination in the Southwest. Jenny eventually learns that he has only three days to reach a predetermined rendezvous site to be rescued or else he will die. Meanwhile, the U.S. Army has detected the crash. Cold-blooded NSA chief George Fox (Richard Jaeckel) leads the hunt to capture the alien for scientific study, but SETI scientist Mark Shermin (Charles Martin Smith) believes humans could learn from him and tries to fight for a more peaceful resolution. As they race to stay ahead of the army pursuing them, the Starman slowly earns Jenny's trust and affection as they travel across the country, and together they help each other in ways they never expected.


Starman was a movie I used to watch all the time as a kid in the 1980s, when it was on cable seemingly every other day, but over the years I gradually lost track of it. Until recently, I hadn't seen it in at least twenty years and could only remember a few minor details, so it was great to re-discover it. By 1984, John Carpenter had already established himself in the horror genre. With Halloween, The Fog, The Thing, and Christine under his belt, his career was on a roll. Although no stranger to science-fiction, having already touched on it with Escape from New York, it seemed like an odd choice that Starman would be his next film. A PG-rated sci-fi/fantasy with nary a drop of blood or gruesome special effect in sight? The film was a chance for Carpenter to try something different and show his range, and show it he did. Starman is one of the most beautiful and touching films you will ever see. In this day and age when so many big-screen aliens just seem to be ravenous monsters bent on the destruction or enslavement of Earth, it's refreshing to see a small, quaint story about a kind alien who brings with it hope for the future of mankind. Of course, the government sees it as a threat and wants nothing more than to catch it and subject it to all kinds of (likely torturous) tests. But rather than a standard sci-fi/action movie, Carpenter is instead more interested in telling a love story about two characters from completely different worlds -- literally! -- and how they help each other in deeply personal ways. It's an extremely captivating journey. Jenny teaches Starman that humanity is not completely savage and rude, and Starman ultimately gives her closure by allowing her to come to terms with her husband's death and say goodbye to him, something she never had before.


As Jenny and Starman spend more time together, her hostility turns to respect and eventually love. It never feels forced, thanks to the splendid acting of Jeff Bridges and Karen Allen. Bridges is fantastic as the Starman. His performance, which earned an Academy Award nomination, starts off very alien (no pun intended) as he experiences life in a form he has never known. He gradually becomes more human over the course of the film, but he retains his sense of oddness: his head movements are birdlike, his walk a little unsure, and he approaches the new world around him with a childlike sense of innocence and fascination. Actors are required to pretend to be different characters all the time, but Bridges does something even more amazing: he convinces us that Jeff Bridges is not inhabited by himself. Allen's transformation is equally captivating. She starts in a very lonely and depressed state, distraught over the loss of her husband, and at one point implores the Starman to kill her with her own gun. Initially frightened by his presence, she teaches him to drive and use credit cards because she intends to escape as soon as she gets the chance. But in a moment of illumination, she witnesses him miraculously resurrect a dead deer. It's then that she realizes the true goodness in him and resolves to help him return home. In one quiet scene in a diner where Jenny tries to explain love to Starman, she begins to break down as she recalls the love she and her husband shared. Allen's performance is so honest and moving, even fragile in a sense, that if you don't get at least choked up, you may not be human.


On the surface it may not sound like a John Carpenter movie, but it has many of his hallmarks. The film's visual style is distinctly Carpenter, and Jenny Hayden is as strong a female character as his many others. It touches on themes you don't normally find in his work, such as love and hope, but then there are others -- one character asks, "Who's the missionary and who are the cannibals?" -- that are very much in keeping with his usual touches. Carpenter gives us some of the standard road movie scenes, such as a visit to a truck stop where Starman's odd behavior draws attention, and the film has a sense of humor that is well-handled and never obtrusive. It does its job without calling attention to itself. It's a romantic, sentimental movie with a strong positive point of view. Who would have thought that the guy who gave us the unstoppable evil of Michael Myers, the grimness of Assault on Precinct 13, and the terror of The Thing would turn around with a movie that could bring us to tears and give us such a sense of hope?

Published by Dark Horse Comics, Indiana Jones Adventures is a series of 80-page one-shots in digest size. Consisting of two volumes, released in 2008 and 2009, respectively, they may look on the surface like books for small children, with their kid-friendly art and easy-to-follow stories. But they can be enjoyed by fans of any age. Volume 1 is set in 1930 and sees Indy searching for a fabled Norse treasure. Along the way he meets beautiful British archaeologist Theresa Lawrence, crosses paths with long-time rival Belloq, and tangles with -- yes -- Nazis. In Volume 2, subtitled "Curse of the Invincible Ruby," a series of 16th century stone animal carvings have been stolen from museums around the world. The authorities suspect it's simple burglary, but Indy knows otherwise. Legend suggests that the statues are a key to finding a mysterious ruby that is said to make whoever possesses it invincible, and it's up to Indy to find it before it falls into the wrong hands.


Indiana Jones has had plenty of comic book adventures over the years, from several mini-series in the 1990s (also by Dark Horse) to his own monthly book from Marvel in the 1980s, but Indiana Jones Adventures may very well be the best of them all. The interior art of the previous comics were not always the best, but the artwork here by Ethen Beavers is just beautiful, very reminiscent of Bruce Timm. If you like cartoony-looking art or are already familiar with animator Timm's work, you'll love his style. Indy doesn't look exactly like Harrison Ford and instead feels more like an iconic representation of the spirit of the famous archaeologist. That said, there are some panels (whether intentional or not) where you can see hints of Ford, and Belloq does look remarkably like Paul Freeman from time to time, albeit in a stylized cartoon-like way. Beavers' work is only enhanced by the wonderful colors of Ronda Pattison, which makes the visuals really pop off the page. These are simply some of the best-looking comics I've seen in recent years.


Written by Philip Gelatt (Vol. 1) and Mark Evanier (Vol. 2), the stories are entertaining and contain plenty of action-adventure and humor, while also making subtle references to the movies that connect the stories to the franchise at large. Although they are marketed to kids, the books don't over-simplify the stories or strip away the things that make Indy great. So there are plenty of fight scenes, Nazis (even bearing Swastikas, which you never see in kids comics), a little romance, and even some deaths, although these mostly occur off-panel or are just implied. Not to take anything away from the second book, but the first is the best of the two. It even delves into philosophical debates on archaeological ethics. That might seem a little much for kids, but I think they would pick up on the basics of it, and it also makes the material more appealing for older readers. It also addresses the history, culture, and reasons behind the interest in the particular find. I could imagine that kids who find myth interesting will find the stories of Odin and Nordic culture intriguing and may be inspired to look for further information on the subject. I know I was.


If I have any complaints, one is that the series consists of only these two books. There are no apparent plans for further installments, which is really a shame. The creative team assembled for these volumes clearly have a great love and respect for the source material, and that is well-captured in the art and stories. I think if this was to be turned into a monthly or even a limited series with a new story each year, it would be a really dynamic book and breathe new life into the comic book world of Indiana Jones. Also, while it does feature moments of action, those scenes never really take off and get as actiony as you expect from an Indy adventure. That's likely just because of the digest size of the books, which doesn't allow for a lot of panels per page for action to play out over. So there's nothing on the scale of the desert chase from Raiders of the Lost Ark or the tank battle from The Last Crusade. But as it stands, these two volumes are fun and exciting, with a great sense of adventure and history. If you're a fan of Indiana Jones, you should check them out.

Nick Halloway (Chevy Chase) is a San Francisco-based stock analyst who has spent most of his life avoiding responsibility and connections with other people. When he isn't working he hangs out at the Academy Club, where one night he meets a documentary filmmaker named Alice Monroe (Daryl Hannah). The two sense an immediate attraction and share a quick tryst in the ladies room. The next morning, Nick attends a shareholder's meeting at Magnascopic Laboratories, where a malfunction renders parts of the building invisible, including Nick. When his condition is discovered, CIA operative David Jenkins (Sam Neill) sees the potential to exploit him for his own shady operations and tries to capture him. Nick manages to escape and eventually flees the city to avoid capture, but Jenkins continues his pursuit, defying orders from his Washington, D.C. superiors. When Nick reveals his condition to Alice she agrees to help him, and together they must find a way to evade the government agents and escape somewhere to safety, while Nick also struggles with the fact he may be invisible for the rest of his life.


A box office disappointment upon its release, this was viewed by many as a low for John Carpenter. In fact, the director would later say it was a turning point in his career and an unpleasant experience that made him think for the first time he shouldn't make movies anymore. It often doesn't really feel like a Carpenter movie (this is evident by the noticeable lack of a "John Carpenter's" above the title), and knowing about the studio's test audience-influenced tinkering further backs this up. But that being said, the film is nowhere near as bad as its reputation suggests. Memoirs came at a time when Chevy Chase wanted to stray away from comedies and start making more dramatic films, and he seized the opportunity when he purchased the rights to H.F. Saint's novel. After original director Ivan Reitman backed out when he discovered he wouldn't be directing Chase in a broad comedy, John Carpenter came on board with an eye to make it more of a North by Northwest kind of adventure film. The result was a movie that seemed to confuse critics and audiences. Some asked, "If this is a drama, why does it star Chevy Chase?" or "If this is a comedy, why is it directed by John Carpenter?" Not even the studio seemed to know how to market the film because of its tone, and in the end tried to sell it as a straight comedy, which it really isn't.


Until recently, I hadn't seen this movie in about fifteen years, so I was very eager to watch it again and was happy to discover it was even better than I remembered it being. Maybe it's just me, but I totally buy Chase in his attempt to do something more serious than usual. There's a great scene where the invisible Nick confronts Jenkins in his office, furious with his attempts to capture and exploit him. At one point Nick slams his hands on the desk and leans in close as he tells Jenkins off, and there's a real intensity in Chase's performance. I find he leaves behind any trace of Fletch or Clark Griswold in many scenes, but especially the entire scene in Jenkins' office. There are occasional bits of humor one expects from Chase -- fumbling to put on an invisible jacket in a panic, walking into a closed glass door -- but they're subtle and don't distract. The funniest is a scene where Nick knocks out a drunk businessman and manipulates his unconscious body in order to get a taxi ride. Besides Chase in a more dramatic role, we also get Sam Neill in a rare turn as a villain. Neill, who would star in Carpenter's very next film, the incredible mind-bender In the Mouth of Madness, brings a real degree of villainy to David Jenkins. While the PG-13 rating keeps him from being too diabolical, he nonetheless conveys a good sense of Jenkins' evil intentions and shadiness. He is dogged in his pursuit of Nick, which occupies his every waking hour, and we can see the intensity and unhinged emotions his chase brings out. Daryl Hannah is remarkable eye candy and brings an honest sincerity to Alice Monroe. It's not a great performance, but she's pleasant, extremely easy on the eyes, and has good chemistry with Chase.


The story doesn't have too much in the way of action, mostly just foot pursuits and one (very brief) car chase, but it moves well and feels like it packs a lot in. There's a voyeuristic element to the material that is good but not quite as strong as it could have been (again, the rating keeps us from seeing some good stuff when Nick finds himself stuck in Alice's bedroom as she prepares for bed), and there are some nice scenes where Nick struggles with his newfound form and laments how being physically invisible has made him realize how emotionally invisible he's been his whole life. Made at a time when digital effects were just starting to really be used in film, the early CGI, which broke new ground and paved the way for the kinds of effects seen in films like Forrest Gump, still impresses today for its modesty. A nighttime scene in which Nick's invisible form becomes visible in the rain is terrific, remarkably more effective than a similar scene in Daredevil over a decade later, and there are nice tributes to the classic The Invisible Man. I also liked that certain scenes actually show the viewer Nick when he's invisible. This allows us to see the experiences from his point of view, and we discover that, as much fun as being invisible sounds, it really would be a terrible burden.


I honestly can't find a single bad thing about Memoirs of an Invisible Man. Yes, as I said, it doesn't really feel like a John Carpenter movie, and it does lack his distinctive musical work. Although Shirley Walker's score is good and also earned her the distinction of being the first female composer to have a solo credit on a major Hollywood film. It's not an eerie movie like The Fog, it's not the visceral terror of The Thing, and it's not an experience in impending apocalyptic doom like Prince of Darkness. But it's not supposed to be. It is exactly what it is: a little chase movie with a mix of comedy, drama, suspense, and science fiction that comes off better than some would have you believe, and it's a lot of fun.

At a remote research facility, Asgardian god Loki (Tom Hiddleston) steals the Tesseract, a mysterious energy source of unknown potential. In response to the attack, S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) activates the Avengers Initiative. Black Widow (Scarlett Johannson) is sent to India to locate Dr. Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), while Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.), aka Iron Man, is also recruited. In Germany, Loki is apprehended by Captain America (Chris Evans) and Iron Man, who then confront Thor (Chris Hemsworth) when he frees Loki, his adoptive brother, in an attempt to reason with him. Loki has made a pact with the Other, an alien conqueror who, in exchange for the Tesseract, has promised to give him an army of Chitauri aliens to take over Earth. As they attempt to locate the Tesseract, the Avengers begin to disagree on how to handle the situation. Tensions mount, and secrets threaten to surface. When Loki escapes, killing one of their own in the process, the Avengers must set aside their differences and learn to work as a team in order to defeat Loki and his alien army as they initiate their war on Earth.


The culmination of everything Marvel Studios has worked toward since the release of Iron Man four years ago, The Avengers finally arrives on the big screen, a giant cross-pollination of characters and storylines, just like the crossover events you read in the comic books. In the hands of Joss Whedon, whom fanboys love to worship as a can-do-no-wrong storytelling god, The Avengers is shockingly hit and miss, with an emphasis on miss. Having to make a single film that combines so many different films can't be an easy task: you've got the high-tech world of Iron Man, the mystical world of Thor, and the old-fashioned nostalgia of Captain America. There's also Iron Man's flashy and cynical attitude, Captain America's selfless soldier personality, and Thor's Shakespearean-esque linguistics. The amalgamation comes off okay in some places and jarring in others. All the alien invasion action in the final act looks incredible, with some really dazzling special effects. But Whedon doesn't really know how to stage, shoot, or edit action on this grand of a scale. Some of the action is indeed fun, but then there are times where the editing is jumpy and the camera is all over the place (and I don't mean shaky-cam, which is surprisingly absent for the most part). And even worse, it grows boring after awhile. It's an action scene, and it actually gets boring! It's not as bad as Michael Bay, but it's damn close; just lots of movement and noise. And I won't even bother going into some of the sillier little things that bugged me, like Loki addressing a crowd of stunned German citizens in English(!) or Thor desperately trying to escape from a contraption that's hurtling toward Earth, despite the fact he's, you know, an indestructible god! Or Whedon offing a fan-favorite character (which he's done before) for nothing more than a plot point, and then going so far as to have the character use their dying breath to literally announce the turn in the plot, as if we couldn't figure it out for ourselves.


Roughly the first hour is a near chore to sit through. It's endless scenes of characters squabbling amongst themselves and bickering back and forth. Imagine all those annoying library scenes from Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but on a multi-million dollar budget. Characters sit at tables and bounce rapid-fire lines off each other, characters stand around computer screens and bounce rapid-fire lines off each other, characters . . . well, you get the idea. There are some occasional action beats -- the fight between Thor and Iron Man in a forest is good, while Captain America and Loki fighting in Germany is cool if over much too quickly -- but it's otherwise mostly just talk, talk, talk, and more talk. I'm all for taking the time to develop characters and situations, but the best movies do it over the course of the film and not by bringing everything else to a halt. And in typical Whedon style, everybody has also become a comedian, pulling snappy one-liners out of thin air and using them in response to everything. That's one of my biggest problems with Whedon: he loves to overwrite his characters, to the point of annoyance. People in Joss Whedon stories do not speak the same language as us. Sure, it sounds like English, but they speak in a way somebody who knows they're in a movie speaks. It's Whedon going, "Did you hear that? Did you hear that? Oh, I'm so quirky and funny, aren't I?" The film has a surprising amount of humor that feels erratically forced into the material, occasionally working but usually not. In many places it took me out of the film.


Most of the cast is entertaining. Chris Evans shines once again as Captain America and is easily one of the biggest highlights of the film. (I really can't wait to see him in his own sequel in another couple of years.) He's great in the action scenes and gives Cap a really strong presence. Mark Ruffalo, whom I'd never heard of before, is solidly terrific as Bruce Banner, aka the Hulk. I really enjoyed his performance and thought it was the best use of the character in a film so far. Chris Hemsworth as Thor is better here than he was in his own film, where he went for too long without powers and was basically just a fish out of water. Downey is, well, Downey. He seems to have taken a page from Johnny Depp in that if you just act the same level of quirkiness from one film to the next, no matter how inappropriate for the role, audiences will dig it. Scarlett Johansson is typically bland as Black Widow. I swear, she has no idea how to inject any kind of emotion into her lines. She delivers everything in virtually the same tone, and it grates on the nerves. Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye sits out for much of the film and only really gets to play during the big finale, but he's great when he does. Samuel L. Jackson finally gets to be more than a ten-second cameo like he has in previous Marvel movies, yet even with the two hour-plus running time he still gets nothing to do! He spends much of the movie on the bridge of the Avengers' Helicarrier giving orders. He looks bad-ass doing it, and he does shoot a couple guns and gets a cool moment near the end with a rocket launcher. But it reminded me of the later seasons of Walker, Texas Ranger when Chuck Norris would just stand around the office with a cup of coffee while everyone else went out and had fun. Too have Jackson in your film, and as such an awesome character, and then pretty much do nothing with him should be a crime. As Loki, Tom Hiddleston is fantastic, but storywise he at times feels like nothing but comic relief, which isn't a good thing when you're the main villain. I thought he felt more like a serious threat in Thor.


The Avengers has already made over $300 million, and will probably make another $300 million by the time I finish writing this and get it posted. For 140 minutes, audiences have eaten up Joss Whedon's jokes, which in turn will land him bigger paychecks, which in turn will stroke his ego, and we'll get more unrelenting "look at me, look at me" quirkiness. I'll say it's not the worst comic book movie (I actually never felt the urge to stand up and yell "Enough already!" like I did with Spider-Man 3 or The Dark Knight), and if you're one who just loves Joss Whedon and everything he does and thinks he can do no wrong, then I'm sure you'll like it just fine. To me, it lacks the heart and soul of Captain America, as well as the classiness and sophistication of X-Men: First Class. But what do I know?

Following the events of #2, Hope has escaped from Utopia island after the shocking finale in which she lit Wolverine on fire. After regrowing his skin -- to which Spider-Man humorously responds "Yuck!" -- Wolvie discovers that Cyclops has surrendered in order to end the conflict outside. As Captain America and Iron Man argue over what to do next, Wolverine realizes the surrender is just a ruse. But before they can act, Cyclops and the rest of the X-Men teleport off the island thanks to Magik, who had disguised herself as Doc Strange. The team arrives in Long Beach, from which they set out to try and locate Hope. It turns out Hope is still in San Francisco, plotting to take matters into her own hands. The Avengers receive a report that she's been detected in five different locations, so Captain America splits the Avengers into groups to have them investigate. While en route to one destination, tensions between him and Wolverine boil over and erupt into a fight, and two more allies are pitted against each other.


After the all-out brawls that were Avengers vs. X-Men #2 and AvX: VS #1, we get a bit of a breather this week. Ed Brubaker, the man behind one of the longest and most popular Captain America runs of all time, writes this issue. He doesn't really move the main storyline forward too much, but he opens the issue with a relaxing pace that gives us a chance to slow down, seeing the aftermath of the previous battle. It then starts to build up with the X-Men's escape and the Avengers' continued search for Hope. But the cover promises a fight that has always made for some good comics in the past -- Captain America vs. Wolverine -- and Brubaker doesn't disappoint. Most of the third act features a knock-down fight between the two in the back of an Avengers jet, and John Romita, Jr.'s art is terrific. I love how the fight is bathed in a red light. No doubt this confrontation will have some repercussions later on. I do have to complain that the motivations behind the fight are a little weak, and Cap unfortunately comes off a bit like a jerk the way he seems to strike Wolverine as if he's just gotten bored by their conversation and wants to end it. I think there could have been a bit more escalation to their argument before the fight. But the fight itself is intense, and the last panel, showing Wolverine trudging through the snow, is probably my favorite piece of art in the whole series so far.


Created for Popular Publications by Harry Steeger in 1933, the Spider seems like little more than a rip-off of Street and Smith's the Shadow. Much like him, the Spider is a millionaire playboy, Richard Wentworth, living in New York City. He takes up a personal war against crime, donning a black cape and slouch hat, and arming himself with a pair of pistols as he terrorizes the criminal underworld with his own brand of extreme vigilante justice. While the Spider never achieved the level of popularity the Shadow did, he nevertheless found his own degree of success and became a well-known character in the world of pulp heroes. After a couple revival attempts in the last few years, the Spider is back again, this time courtesy of Dynamite Entertainment. (Ironically, the same company now publishing the Shadow.) I wasn't familiar with anything about this book -- writer, artists, or even the Spider himself -- so I had no idea what to expect going into it. But I can say that The Spider #1 is fantastic!


The Spider is very much a man without mercy. He sees the world in black and white, and his philosophy is pretty much "kill them before they can hurt someone innocent." In that regard he's almost like the Punisher, except he has a sense of humor as well. After killing some thugs robbing a restaurant in Chinatown, he asks to order some take-out, smoking pistols still in hand. We see that he is not someone to be messed with as he takes out thieves, robbers, and rapists without a second thought. This debut also gives us a look at Richard Wentworth's personal life. He is still friends with his ex-girlfriend, Nita Van Sloan, who is now married to police commissioner Stanley Kirkpatrick. Drawing on his military experience, he hires himself out as a freelance consultant to the police for some of their more bizarre cases. In this first story, he's brought in at a crime scene he feels resembles some of the chemical weapon experiments he witnessed during the war. Colton Worley's art is highly impressive. While the Spider's city is updated to modern times (probably to set it apart from Dynamite's other period books), Worley draws a world that is firmly placed in our own time but still has an old-fashioned feel to it, right down to the noirish rain-soaked streets. Another big throwback element is that our hero drinks and smokes! You don't see that very often these days. As the introductory issue, writer David Liss sets up the basic premise and characters well. He keeps the issue a page-turner and delivers a surprise in the final pages that shows us just what kind of bizarre menaces the Spider will face. He also does a good job establishing that the Spider has been around for awhile and giving us a sense of his legend through some conversation and flashbacks. Much like The Shadow #1 last month, this is a terrific debut that gets the series off to a great start.

On the distant planet Morganthus, the last survivor of a crashed ship is chased and killed by an unseen force. Elsewhere, the all-powerful Planet Master instructs one of his military commanders, Ilvar (Bernard Behrens), to oversee a rescue mission to Morganthus. The ship Quest arrives but crashes under mysterious circumstances. Upon recovering, the crew, headed by Captain Baelon (Zalman King), sets out to search for survivors of the previous ship. They find it littered with the bodies of the deceased crew and signs of a gruesome massacre. While trying to figure out what happened, they discover a massive pyramid-like structure and decide to investigate in search of answers. Meanwhile, as crew members start meeting gruesome ends, tensions begin to increase. Pushy and arrogant Baelon is getting fed up with empath Alluma (Erin Moran) for her inability to detect any lifesigns, while crewman Ranger (Robert Englund) is growing concerned by how the ship's cook, Kore (Ray Walston), seems to be taking all the incidents in stride. As they investigate further into the pyramid, the crew is continually attacked by malevolent forces that cause them to be killed by each of their own personal fears, creating a nightmarish situation from which none of them may escape.


Produced by B-movie king Roger Corman, Galaxy of Terror is generally considered a rip-off of Alien: a rag-tag team of space adventurers land on a desolate, rocky, storm-swept planet and find an alien structure that holds within it unspeakable horror. But that's really where the similarities end, as most of the film features strange supernatural and fantasy elements instead of straight-on alien-centric terror. It's an intriguing concept having the crew besieged by their own fears, although for much of the film they just think the planet is full of all kinds of strange creatures. It's not really until the very end that they figure out just what is going on, but by then most of them have been dismembered, consumed, crushed, or burned to death. The cast is totally game despite the silliness and actually look like they are having fun, giving it their all instead of just showing up on set for a paycheck, and is populated with both former and future stars.


Edward Albert and Erin Moran are no Han Solo and Princess Leia, but they're a fine space couple. Moran spends much of the movie looking scared or staring wide-eyed as she says things like "it's empty" or "it's dead." Albert makes a dashing hero, quick with a laser pistol and busting out some hitherto unknown acrobatic moves during the finale. Grace Zabriskie is the ship's emotionally-disturbed captain, who often trails off in mid-sentence and stares blankly into space whenever mention is made to a past accident she feels responsible for. Sid Haig is the near-mute Quuhod, who "lives and dies" by the crystal throwing stars he wields. He's apparently so attached that he becomes withdrawn and depressed when they break, and he's strong enough to punch his own arm off when one of his weapons attacks him. (It's also funny to note that Haig looks practically the same today as he did thirty years ago!) A highlight is seeing a young Robert Englund, three years prior to A Nightmare on Elm Street, in a rare appearance as a good guy. He's similar to Alien's Sigourney Weaver in that he's the lowliest member of the crew yet is the smartest one in noticing something is wrong and ultimately figuring things out.


The practical creature effects range from cheesy but amusing to surprisingly good. From slimy tentacles to oversized bugs to an actual alien creature, nothing ever really looks so cheap that it takes you out of the movie. Despite the low budget, the production values are pretty strong, no doubt thanks to production designer (and future mega-director) James Cameron, who also directed second unit. The ship's computer consoles look like they're made from stuff that was on sale at the local Radio Shack, and bulkhead panels are made from painted fast food cup trays, but there's something charming about that kind of on-the-cheap set design. There are some nice visuals throughout the film, especially on the planet surface, which is appropriately foreboding, and some scenes are remarkably effective. In one, Captain Baelon is stalked by a creature that reveals itself just as the room plunges into darkness, and its glowing eyes remain hovering in the dark for a moment before fading out. It's a creepy moment that gave me goosebumps.


Likewise, a scene where Ranger encounters an evil double of himself is pulled off surprisingly well with a body double. As his doppelganger, Englund foreshadows his iconic Freddy Krueger with an evil sneer and intimidating gestures. Of course, the only scene anybody really remembers and talks about is the infamous "worm rape." Early in the film, the ship's sexy blond technical officer, Dameia (Taaffe O'Connell), remarks "I hate worms." So naturally she meets her end at the hands -- or, rather, appendages -- of one. When she backs into it, the giant slug proceeds to somehow get her out of her uniform and have its way with her. Towards the end of the movie, another female crew member is attacked in a tunnel by dozens of tentacles. After the giant worm scene you might think these would be naughty tentacles, but instead they're just ho-hum regular tentacles, which wrap around and crush her against the floor, causing her face to explode. Corman movies are not exactly known for their subtlety.


I have a real soft spot for these kinds of low-budget sci-fi movies that got cranked out in the late-70s and early-80s in the wake of Star Wars and Alien. The filmography of Roger Corman is loaded with countless duds and the occasional gem. Galaxy of Terror isn't really bad enough to be one of the duds, but it also doesn't really do anything that makes it memorable. (Obviously I'm not talking about the "worm rape" death.) The title is also misleading, as the action is confined to one planet. In that regard, the alternate Mindwarp: An Infinity of Terror would have been the better choice. But it's equal parts fun, stupid, and just plain goofy. If you know what to expect from these kinds of movies then you'll probably enjoy it. Besides, it's still better than anything Syfy channel has rolled out in the last decade.